10:41 a.m. - 2005-09-10
Cocktail Please
DUDE.
I am totally freaking out.
I'm in A-l-a-s-k-a. Alone. With my heart in the hands of a man whom I hardly know.
John is so sexy to me. He just does it for me....and from the beginning things have been relatively easy.
Then all of the sudden, like fucking clockwork, I start worrying about things I have absolutely NO control over. Mostly this consists of thoughts pertaining to him being distant, etc. Normal paranoid hyper-sensetive chick crap!
It seems like this always happens, and it fuckin' sucks! All I want is to make him happy. The frustrating part is that when I don't try, when I am just myself, I do better than when I'm pouring my mental energy into it!
I need a cocktail.

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