10:45 a.m. - 2005-01-06
A Wedding Announcement
Last night I went to Lola's to have a few drinks. After a few, I was feeling very good...smiling even.
Then one of Jeff's friends walked in.
With a hearty smile he proclaimed, 'I'm getting married! I found out my girl is pregnant, and I love her, so I'm going to marry her and start a family. Everything is great!'
My heart fucking broke.
I'm not sure if it was finally realizing at that moment that I wasn't loved. Or hearing what Jeff should have said to me, but didn't, come out of another man's mouth. Or perhaps it was seeing him be so happy and blessed about something that made Jeff so very UNhappy. So UNhappy that he left me....demanded an abortion and then became abusive with me.
It hurt so deep and so long.....it still hurts.

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