9:15 a.m. - 2004-12-16
Baby Steps
Jeff asked me to come over last night, so I took off early and made my way to his place, expecting a change of heart.
When I walked in, the first thing he said was 'what are you going to do about the baby?'
I replied 'I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep it.'
He blew up. 'Why? I already have one child and I can't get ahead. You see the dumpy aparment I live in now! (It's not dumpy) What? do you think I'll marry you?'
I'm still in shock.
I said, 'I don't want to marry you. I didn't want this either, but it happened. I can deal with this by myself, and if you're so concerned about money, you can sign over yor parental rights.'
He didn't like that idea.
'You know, I was going to take you back.'
I said 'but you don't want to because I'm keeping the baby.'
'YES.'
You see, he tried and tried to convince me that he walked out for every other reason than this child. But I knew otherwise. And I called him on it.
On top of it all, I find myself having lost a good friend. Chevy was the first person I told about the pregnancy, and he was so, so supportive, calling me almost every day to see how I was doing, etc.
I will miss him through all of this.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.

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